Snack Review: QB’s Ice Cream Treats and Trader Joe’s Organic Brown Rice Marshmallow Treats

A properly made Rice Krispie treat is one of the great achievements of American culture. And all you need to do to get one is follow the incredibly simple recipe on the box, which includes only three crucial ingredients and no baking. The technology behind it – turning rice into things that snap, crackle and pop, to say nothing of the mystery that is marshmallows – is no doubt awesome. But in the kitchen, there’s nothing simpler.

And if you have any sense, you’re totally content when you eat one. You don’t say to yourself, “hmm, if only this had brown rice in it” or “hey, how about some ice cream at the same time?”

But not everyone has your good sense, so, we have these two products.

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Snack Review: Trader Joe’s Mexican Hot Cocoa Cookies

So, I had just embarked on a new Healthy Eating Plan which was going to be based on ensuring that the number of cookie packages bought per week was less than the total number of trips to the gym in the same week. Then I made the mistake of doing this week’s grocery shopping at Trader Joe’s.

Trader Joe’s seems to have an insane number of new sweets for the holiday season. I bought three boxes of cookies for a week in which, having spent part of it sick in bed, I believe there were zero trips to the gym. Arithmetic is not my strong suit, but I am pretty sure I blew the plan.

My excuse for two of the packages of cookies was that I was bringing them to a party, and never mind that said party often has so much dessert at it that even a nice box of cookies might end up never getting opened and therefore going home with the bringer. The excuse for this, the third package, was that I just couldn’t help it. They are chocolate, and seasonal, and who could resist this text on the package:

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Snack Review: Trader Joe’s Black Cherry Yogurt

After my experience with Rachel’s Wickedly Delicious Yogurt, which blew my mind about the whole concept of fruit-flavored yogurt, I thought, maybe it was not Rachel. Maybe I’ve changed. Maybe my tastes have changed. Or maybe yogurt’s tastes have changed: maybe it’s just that now yogurt comes in good fruit flavors.

After all, the choices used to be pretty lame: strawberry and raspberry were about as radical as it got, in the old days. So maybe I didn’t need Rachel’s with its fancy pretentious sleekly black modern graphics and wickedly postmodern marketing copy. Maybe all I needed was any old brand of interesting fruit flavor yogurt.

And where do you go for unpretentious? Why, Trader Joe’s, of course. No one pretends that Trader Joe is a real person. They don’t advertise Trader Joe’s products with sleek black graphics. They don’t have a website for their yogurt.

So, I got this Trader Joe’s Black Cherry yogurt, and, with my new positive attitude, dug in.

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Snack Review: Trader Joe’s Cheese Sticks

Hmm, is this a trend? This is the second snack I’ve eaten lately that tastes like an odd part of some other food that isn’t usually eaten in isolation. There were the chicken crackers that tasted like fried chicken crust, and now these.

These are allegedly “Sharp Cheddar Sourdough Twists” which are “baked twice.” The “baked twice” might be what does it - what these taste like is the almost-burnt cheese on the top of a quiche or a casserole of macaroni and cheese. You know those dark brown parts you get if it’s cooked enough, on top or on the sides of the dish?

They actually don’t taste much like sharp cheddar, though. Also I don’t taste anything particularly sourdough. I don’t see anything in the ingredients that would make them taste that way, and I suspect that food companies use “sourdough” as a way to evoke vague associations with fancy artisan breads. But I do appreciate that they are made of real food - no multisyllabic ingredients or fake sourdough flavor.

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Top 10 Places to Find Free Snacks

Snacks: we eat them all the time… sometimes until no room remains for actual meals. But the term “snack” means different things to different people. While most of us agree that a snack is smaller and less filling than a meal, some would consider a Starbucks Frappuccino a snack, while others might opt for a pack of edamame or a half-order of buffalo wings. No matter what brings us individual snacking pleasure, there’s one other thing most people tend to agree on: snacks are even tastier when they’re free.

As a former poor college student, and a cheapskate in general, I’ve become somewhat of an expert in finding free food. Some of what I’ve found over the years has been atrocious, but I’ve found a fair amount of four-and-five star snacking destinations also. Below, I’ve compiled a list of my top ten places to find free snacks. My rankings are based on several factors including free snack variety, quality, and ubiquity of locations. May your taste buds be satisfied, and your stomach - and wallet - never empty!

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