Snack Review: Pringles Spicy Guacamole

First of all, I just want to make it known that I really really don’t like guacamole. Every time I’m in a restaurant and an entrée comes with guacamole, I immediately ask for it to be made without this green goop while I am placing my order.

I don’t know what it is about guacamole that I don’t like, because really, I’m not sure that I’ve ever tried it. If I had to guess, it would be the appearance of it that turns me off. Even thinking about guacamole makes me shiver.

Which is why I decided to review Pringles Spicy Guacamole. I needed to get over my fear of this food and figured that eating it mixed in with a chip was a good way to start.

Upon lifting the inner seal, I was struck with something that smelled like sour cream and onion, but grosser. I can’t really describe the smell because I was heaving on the inside just thinking about eating one of these.

The color of the Pringles chip was the exact same color as guacamole; I guess they needed it to be realistic. Finally, I decided to put one of these in my mouth after much consideration. I popped it in, closed my eyes and chewed quickly.

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Review: BumbleBee’s Spicy Thai Tuna Medley

Deserved or not, canned snacks have a pretty gut-churning reputation.

Just visualize poking your index finger through a metal ring and pealing back the lid of an aluminum can - what food do you see jiggling before you?

Is it anchovies, lined up in a row like soldiers in a trench, their shiny black eyes staring into an unknowable abyss? Or is it Spam, the reigning king of gelatinous meat products - a food so simultaneously revolting and alluring that I felt compelled to write about it TWICE this week? Or hey, maybe you’ve just imagined cat food, since that recent inheritance wasn’t quite what you’d been hoping for. (I guess you should’ve sent Grandpa Pete better birthday cards, huh?)

Incidentally, cat food is probably the first thing you’ll think of when you see an open can of BumbleBee’s Tuna Medley. BUT WAIT, KEEP READING! ‘Cause actually, they’re kind of good.

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Snack Review: Cheetos Spicy Cheddar Cracker Trax

I have many fond memories involving Cheetos. The cheesy snacks weren’t my favorite thing to discover at lunchtime (that honor went to Oreos), but they were near the top of my list. The sensation of a Cheeto slowly melding to your tongue; dissolving to leave in its wake a sea of spongy, “cheez”-flavored goo, was and remains a simple and unique pleasure. One taste and it’s summer 1997… I’m at Performing Arts Camp, enjoying a brief respite from singing and dancing, frolicking with a merry band of fellow theatre geeks on a flawless Ohio summer day. I’d suspect I’m not alone in this sort of Cheetos-experience.

Yet for all its nostalgic value, you have to admit Cheetos aren’t the most attractive snack ever to grace a picnic table. When I observe the humble Cheeto, with its puffy, elongated ovoid shape and toxic-tangerine hue, I can’t help but imagine how at-home it would look in a newborn’s diaper. Cheetos have a one-of-a-kind feel and taste - but they’re very homely. Wouldn’t it be great if someone could capture the flavor of Cheetos, but give them a stylish new makeover?

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