Snack Review: Colossal Cookies from Bristol Farms

After my last stomach-churning encounter with oversize cookies from an overpriced market, I promised myself I’d abstain from such indulgences. I was forced to eat my silent words a few days ago, when a bevy of mountainous, delicious-looking cookies entered my line of sight at Bristol Farms. Trapped within their deadly line of influence, I had no choice but to obey their siren song. I drew steadily closer to the bakery counter, wanting to resist but unable to break the spell.

Entrancing though these cookies were, I needed to perform a litmus test before falling victim to another disgusting-snack swindle. Tentatively, I cupped one of the cookies in my hand. It was as heavy as it appeared, being of a texture that was simultaneously rock-like and slightly yielding. I held the sample specimen, a Pike’s Peak of chocolate chip delight, to my nose, and was rewarded with the scents of genuine butter, brown sugar, and chocolate. This cookie passed muster, as did the other three varieties (Oatmeal Raisin, Peanut Butter/Chocolate Swirl, and Colossal Toffee Crunch). Whole Foods nasty-cookie legacy be darned; I was sold.

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Snack Review: Whole Foods Gigantic Cookie Sandwiches

Those of you who, like me, are ancient kids of the early ’90s, may remember a toy called the Dr. Dreadful Laboratory. The commercial featured a wild-haired scientist-type touting goodies that “look gross but taste great!” Why anyone would take slimy, cockroach-shaped gummis from a mad scientist is beyond me – yet, I ended up begging my mom for one of the good doctor’s gummi labs. While concocting the candy was fun enough, I found most of it tasted only marginally better than it looked.

What dredged this memory from the annals of my subconscious was my discovery a few days ago of a sort of reverse-Dr. Dreadful Laboratory. At Whole Foods, undoubted champion in the battle of the overpriced grocery stores, I came across a slew of gigantic store-made cookie sandwiches. They looked great, but tasted gross!

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Snack Review: P.B. Loco’s Peanut Butter with Dark Chocolate Duo

Some time ago I entered a contest through Twitter and won a jar of P.B. Loco’s freakishly fantastic Peanut Butter.

Hmmm buddy. First let me tell how much I love peanut butter. It should be illegal to have this kind of an infatuation with a condiment but when you suggest combining my love affair with chocolate with an unhealthy crush on peanut butter? Prepare for more than the tongue gymnastics P.B.Loco suggests will happen when you taste their gourmet adult peanut butter. I was leaping over small children to meet the UPS truck when it arrived and I hadn’t even tried it yet.

Opening the jar I was warmly greeted with the peanut butter Gods smiling upon me and saying, “Go ahead, get a spoon.” Either that or it was the voices in my head. I’m not too sure because they sound the same.

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