Snack Review: World of Grains Cookies

I am deeply suspicious of snacks that make health claims. Healthy eating doesn’t mean giving up pleasure in food. That won’t make you live forever – it’ll just feel that way. As long as you get all your fruits and vegetables and so on at meals, there is nothing wrong with a snack that’s just junk once in a while.

What’s more, I’ve lived through enough bogus food trends – oat bran, low fat snacks that ended up having twice as much sugar, people eating nothing but bacon and meat and thinking it is a health diet – to have learned that any health claim is going to be used as a way to make money by companies whose only interest in your health is whether you have the strength left to take your wallet out of your pocket.

So when I was asked if I wanted some samples of these to review, I was all, “Bring them on! You can’t fool all of the people all of the time! I wasn’t born yesterday! Etc.!”

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Snack Review: Kardea Nutrition Bar

OK, so these are all about heart health and “natural cholesterol management.” If you want to know about that, go read their website. My business here is how they taste, because if they don’t taste good, who cares how healthy they are? If I want to eat something healthy that tastes bad, that’s why they invented vegetables and whole grains, thanks very much.

Anyway, I can’t tell you more, because I stopped reading the website myself before it stopped me from trying these at all. For some reason, phrases like “More Viscous Soluble Fiber than Heart Healthy Oatmeal” don’t fill me with anticipation of deliciousness. “Viscous” just isn’t a word that I want anywhere near a description of my snacks, you know?

The manufacturer had kindly sent all four flavors for me to sample. I decided to try the cranberry-almond first because it was post-dinnertime and that flavor sounded most like dessert.

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Snack Review: Gatorade Peanut Butter Nutrition Bar

I’m a person who’s always on a diet. Well, I try to be on one. That’s why I have no problem always eating these diet bars that people claim taste so bad. For me, I’ve been eating them for so long that they taste pretty good.

I decided to go a different route and try one of these energy bars that everyone is talking about; the Gatorade Nutrition Bar. The one I decided to try was peanut butter flavored.

I’m not really big into energy bars, because I’ve seen some of them and can’t understand why anyone would put that in their stomach, but then again, people probably think the same of me when I eat a diet bar.

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Snack Review: Colossal Cookies from Bristol Farms

After my last stomach-churning encounter with oversize cookies from an overpriced market, I promised myself I’d abstain from such indulgences. I was forced to eat my silent words a few days ago, when a bevy of mountainous, delicious-looking cookies entered my line of sight at Bristol Farms. Trapped within their deadly line of influence, I had no choice but to obey their siren song. I drew steadily closer to the bakery counter, wanting to resist but unable to break the spell.

Entrancing though these cookies were, I needed to perform a litmus test before falling victim to another disgusting-snack swindle. Tentatively, I cupped one of the cookies in my hand. It was as heavy as it appeared, being of a texture that was simultaneously rock-like and slightly yielding. I held the sample specimen, a Pike’s Peak of chocolate chip delight, to my nose, and was rewarded with the scents of genuine butter, brown sugar, and chocolate. This cookie passed muster, as did the other three varieties (Oatmeal Raisin, Peanut Butter/Chocolate Swirl, and Colossal Toffee Crunch). Whole Foods nasty-cookie legacy be darned; I was sold.

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