Snack Review: H.E.B. New Orleans King Cake

O.K., so I know I usually review healthy stuff for Snackerrific and leave the sugar for Candy Addict, but I am a firm believer in indulgence (moderately) every now and then. So if I am going to indulge, I prefer to do so on something out of the ordinary.

Walking into my local H.E.B., the sight of a giant cake covered in gold, green, and purple sprinkles stuck out like a rainbow sore thumb amidst the breads and muffins. As I approached the mysterious pastry, I discovered it was indeed what I suspected: a king cake.

My first and only exposure to king cake, as a child who never lived in an area that celebrated Mardi Gras, was in my sophomore year of high school. I remember my AP European History teacher, Mrs. Fine, bringing the festive confection to class shortly before Mardi Gras, as she was a native of New Orleans.

The story behind king cake originates from the three kings who journeyed to Bethlehem over twelve days (ergo, the twelve days of Christmas). What a cake has to do with that I am not sure, as I was raised Jewish, but you’re supposed to consume king cake between Epiphany Day (the twelfth day of Christmas) and Mardi Gras. A plastic baby, said to commemorate Jesus, is inserted into the cake, and whoever finds it is responsible for providing the next cake.

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Snack Review: Buen Appetito Quesadilla Cheese Cake

Gas station pastries: we know ‘em, we love ‘em, and, although we know they’re not exactly good for us, when pressed for time, we often find ourselves indulging. Like cigarettes, these assorted danishes and cakes pack enough unpronounceable chemicals and preservatives to ensure us a place in the “Body Worlds” exhibit following our untimely deaths. Despite their insanely cheap prices, many of these delights manage to look beautiful. One ubiquitous brand even has a suitably upscale name to accompany its appearance: Bon Appetit.

Here in Southern California, a mere two hours from Mexico’s Baja peninsula, our convenience stores carry an ethnic variant: Buen Appetito. The pastries are FrankenFood versions of what you might expect to find at a Mexican panederia… there are conchas, tropical-fruit turnovers and corn muffins. The packages share the clear plastic and chic red-and-beige label of their French parent companies, but in place of the little parasol over “Bon Appetit,” a sultry Latina with come-hither eyes greets you from above the slightly-altered brand name. A subtle, yet clever marketing decision.

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Snack Review: Cream Collon

Our friends over at Candy Addict have mentioned Collon, but apparently were afraid to actually try it. But hey, I’ve eaten coconut-flavored maggots for this site. It takes a lot more than a funny name to frighten me off.

Collon is not a candy, it’s more of a filled cookie. My theory is that the name relates to some more innocent English word like ‘cone’ or ‘crown’ which has been transliterated into Japanese and then back, not entirely successfully. They seem like a sort of mini-interpretation of a common Japanese baked good which is a cone-shaped bread/pastry roll with cream in it.

I admit, I tried the vanilla flavor rather than that chocolate. Without a brown filling, the association to the more unfortunate English word is a lot weaker.

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Snack Review: Kraft Bagel-fuls

Bagel-fuls are toasty warm bagels with a cream cheese filling inside. I tried the brown sugar and cinnamon bagel with cinnamon cream cheese inside. Sounds yummy, right?

After zapping it in the microwave for 15 seconds, I immediately wanted to bite into it and when I did, the outside tasted just like a soft chewy bagel. As for the cream cheese inside, the texture was creamy, but I couldn’t really taste it, so my thoughts are that it should be a little stronger tasting, or possibly have more cream cheese in it.

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