Snack Review: Little Debbie Muffins

I imagined it old school style.

Richard Dawson kissin’ up on the ladies, the giant Family Feud board behind him as he repeats the question: “Name something special you might eat for breakfast.” He winks at the Milwaukee housewife as she bites her lip, concentrating as if her life depended on uttering the most popular response to this inane survey question. She’s really kickin’ those wheels into high gear up there. At last she blurts out: “MUFFINS!”

She’s bouncing and vibrating all over. She’s either ready to burst or smother Dawson in her ample midwestern bosom. Suffice to say, she’s excited. Dawson gives her a wink and a pat on the hand, wiggling his pinky ring with a flourish.

“Show me MUUUFFFINNNNS!”

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Snack Review: Smartfood Popcorn Clusters

I love popcorn for breakfast. Every morning, I always take those 100 calorie bags of kettle popcorn with me to work, because they are low in calories and they take a while to eat. However, for the past few weeks I took Frito-Lay Smartfood popcorn clusters with me to work and not only were they tasty, they seemed to satisfy my hunger every morning.

These delicious clusters contain something different in each flavor. Each flavor was coated in caramel, but not so much that it stuck to your teeth. The popcorn had a fresh crisp texture to it and I had to stop myself from pouring the whole bag down my mouth. There were three flavors that I tried: Chocolate Cookie Caramel Pecan, Honey Multigrain and Cranberry Almond.

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Snack Review: Angelic Gourmet Chocolate Cranberry Orange Popcorn

You know, the holidays. You want to buy presents for people you don’t see very often, and something edible is a good bet. Everyone eats, after all. And if you get a gift you don’t like, at least it won’t take up space in your closet for years.

I got this snack from a well-meaning friend who didn’t realize that I am an individual of exquisitely refined taste, who appreciates the subtler things in life, the plain, unadorned, natural tastes of things instead of elaborate combinations of -

Oh, let’s face it. I am the kind of person who does not like different foods to touch each other on my plate. I would not buy something that combines chocolate, popcorn, cranberry, and orange any more than I would breed my pug dogs to a parakeet to see what kind of pet I got out of it.

But, readers, for you, I tried it. And let’s just say it did nothing to change my attitude toward too many things combined into one snack.

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Snack Review: Kardea Nutrition Bar

OK, so these are all about heart health and “natural cholesterol management.” If you want to know about that, go read their website. My business here is how they taste, because if they don’t taste good, who cares how healthy they are? If I want to eat something healthy that tastes bad, that’s why they invented vegetables and whole grains, thanks very much.

Anyway, I can’t tell you more, because I stopped reading the website myself before it stopped me from trying these at all. For some reason, phrases like “More Viscous Soluble Fiber than Heart Healthy Oatmeal” don’t fill me with anticipation of deliciousness. “Viscous” just isn’t a word that I want anywhere near a description of my snacks, you know?

The manufacturer had kindly sent all four flavors for me to sample. I decided to try the cranberry-almond first because it was post-dinnertime and that flavor sounded most like dessert.

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Snack Review: Kellogg’s Nutri-Grain Fruit & Nut Bars

I’m usually not a big fan of anything with fruits and nuts in it, but I thought I’d give these Kellogg’s Nutri-Grain Fruit & Nut bars a try since I don’t seem to be that healthy of an eater.

These come in two different flavors - Berry & Almond and Cranberry, Raisin & Peanut.

At first, I thought this bar would be hard and probably crack one of my teeth when I bit into it. But that was not the case because it is a soft, flexible bar. I say flexible because I always have fun bending the bars back and forth while they are still in their package.

I first tried the Berry & Almond bar because it looked slightly more appealing to me than the other. (Remember, I dislike fruit and nuts.) When I opened it, the bar was so soft it started bending on its own and almost fell apart. The bar is actually fun to look at: it’s covered in what look like cranberries, oats, crispy rice, bran cereal and almonds.

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