Snack Review: Maple Grove Farms Maple Cream Cookies

This was tough. What with all the excitement over the election - I never thought I’d live to see people celebrating an election in the streets like a sports win - I was feeling unusually patriotic.

So, comparing these Vermont-made cookies to the Canadian Dare maple cookies, I wanted them to be better. I expected them to be better. They were prettier, for one thing. And larger. And had a nice rustic effect with different amounts of cream in each one, not so factory-made looking. And, Vermont. What could be a more maple-y, all-American place?

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Snack Review: Divvies Molasses Ginger Cookies

Last week, as I was cleaning my apartment (a rare enough occurrence), I came across a box which seemed out of place. Intrigued, I opened it up to discover a small treasure of snacks from the folks over at Divvies. Words I won’t repeat here suddenly erupted forth as I realized that this box had been sitting around for a few weeks and the review was sorely overdue.

As I looked through the contents I realized someone else would probably be a better fit to do the review, as I don’t really like ginger in any form. So, I figured I would just pack the box back up and send it on its way to one of the other writers. That’s when a little voice told me to look at the expiration date on the cookies. D’oh! They’d never make it before their date expired. Panicked, I searched my brain for someone close by who could review them. This is when I realized that a) I really need to get more friends and b) my employer loves baked goods! I trotted over with the box and settled in to record her opinion.

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Snack Review: Newman’s Own Ginger-O’s

I have had my eye on these for a while, but I have resisted trying them, because they come in such a large package. I mean, I could eat these ten times and review them once, or I could eat ten different snacks once and review each of them. And I hate to deprive you, faithful reader.

Recent news finally overcame my resistance. No, I didn’t try them to honor Paul Newman in death. It was more that economic troubles have finally come to that chain affectionately known as Whole Paycheck.

Some weeks ago, before the banking system had started to collapse, there was something that made me start examining my mattress with an eye to its money-holding capacities: Whole Foods started advertising the great bargains you could get there. Now, you can actually find numerous things on sale there whenever you go. I truly fear for civilization.

On the bright side, hey, these cookies were on sale! They were probably still expensive, but they had a sale label on them, and you know what that does to the mind. I finally couldn’t resist.

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Snack Review: Mother’s Iced Lemonade Cookies

When I first encountered Mother’s Cookies on the shelves of a local 7-Eleven, I was skeptical to say the least. Several warning bells went off, all of which combined into a siren screaming “FAMILY DOLLAR REJECT!” Yes, these cookies gave every sign of being super-low quality and very, very… wrong.

First off, there’s the color scheme and package design. On a white background, pink and purple stripes are arranged in a pattern resembling a circus tent. One corner is occupied by a headshot of a plump redhead with an old-fashioned blouse-and-apron ensemble. Finally, there’s the brand name, “Mother’s.” My reflexive first thought was “what you sayin’ bout my mama?”

Was the company responsible for these cookies trying to say my mom was old-fashioned and dowdy? Were they saying my mom was a circus freak? Most of all, was this company trying to say that my mother - the woman who raised me - baked dollar-store caliber cookies? If they were, I’d have none of it. With a clear memory of my mom’s uber-yummy Rainbow Blondies, I set out to disprove the presumptuous brand’s claims… this time, it was personal.

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Snack Review: Barbara’s Bakery Whole Wheat Fig Bars

The more nutrition research that comes out, the more I lose hope that we’re ever going to see that longed-for future in Woody Allen’s movie Sleeper – you know, the one where they’ve figured out that steak and fried foods (and no doubt hot fudge sundaes with real whipped cream) are good for you. But if that’s never going to happen, how about a future where something like a whole wheat fig bar actually tastes good?

Well, I’m pretty dubious about that possibility too, so I did not personally purchase these. The blame or credit goes to another member of my household who shall remain nameless. But they sat there on the counter, staring at me. Ha, they said. All that stuff you buy at Whole Foods, but you’re afraid to tackle a real whole food. All that big talk about trying to eat healthier, as soon as you finish the ice-cream cone you’re in the middle of. We know your type.

Well. I am not going to let a package of fig bars talk like that to me.

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