Snack Review: Breyers Triple Chocolate Ice Cream

While visiting my Mom the other day, we discovered that we had the house to ourselves, so we brought out the Breyers ice cream. My Mom is a big fan of Breyers, so she always has some various flavor packed away in her freezer. This time it was Breyers Triple Chocolate All Natural Ice Cream.

I’m all for chocolate, but sometimes things can be a little too chocolaty, so I was hesitant to try it, figuring all three flavors combined would give my taste buds spasms. The three flavors in this ice cream carton were: white chocolate, dark chocolate and milk chocolate. I decided to try all of them separately before combining them.

I tried the white chocolate first: I noticed the taste of chocolate right away, but my Mom didn’t think so and said it tasted like plain vanilla. She is so wrong.

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I Drink Your MILKSHAKE!

Milkshakes have always been an important part of the complete snacker’s repertoire, and with the success of this year’s There Will Be Blood and the popularity of the quirky and brilliantly creepy “milkshake” scene (is there any doubt that Daniel Day-Lewis is a genius?), there seems to be a slight surge in popularity for the frosty and deeply satisfying drink.

You can also find t-shirts at the “Ultimate T-Shirt Search Engine” Teenormous featuring the milkshake-drinking catchphrase.

With cooler weather upon us, or at least gaining on us, I took one last look at this summertime beverage and compared a few of the choices on the market. Here are the astounding results.

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Snack Review: Quaker Mini-Delights Chocolatey Mint

I had to be more or less bullied into trying these. I was suspicious of them for a number of reasons, starting with the name. I’m not sure if all of what’s on this tiny bag would even fit in the post title: Quaker Mini-Delights 90 Calorie Packs Chocolately Mint Bite Sized Crispy Multigrain Cakes.

That kind of made me want to go have a snack with a one-word title like “banana.” I’m also very suspicious of the word “chocolatey,” which is a way to circumvent what labeling regulations require if you just say “chocolate.” Many sins, I feared, could be concealed by that little extra letter “y.”

The picture on the packet is also suspicious. There’s a picture of two of the actual item, accompanied by two entirely chocolate-covered cookies which are clearly not also supplied in the package. (Trust me, I checked.) You know those pictures on packages that say ‘serving suggestion’ in small letters? I peered at the package looking for those words, assuming that this misleading picture was meant to suggest that these would be very tasty indeed as long as you ate them at the same time that you ate two chocolate covered actual cookies.

Furthermore, very few delicious things are only 90 calories. And, finally, ‘multigrain’ all you want, this is basically a rice cake, and we all know that rice cakes are what is made out of those styrofoam packing peanuts when you mail them in for recycling.

So when a friend handed me a packet and said “Oh, you have to try these,” I said, “No thanks.” She said they were really great, but I also knew that she had just gone on a diet. I suspected that her current definition of “delicious” might be “anything that doesn’t taste like a celery stick.”

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Snack Review: Golden Grahams Treats Chocolate Marshmallow

When I was a kid, golden Grahams was my favorite cereal. Whenever I saw that my Mom had taken a trip to the grocery store and gotten this delicious cereal, it made my day and all I could think about was having breakfast the next morning. Okay, so I had an unnatural obsession with Golden Grahams. But they were good!

So when I saw that a new Golden Grahams bar had come out, I was excited, but quickly became skeptical. I didn’t know how chocolate and marshmallows would be with my favorite cereal. I didn’t want these other ingredients to change my mind about one of my best childhood memories!

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Snack Review: Breyers Vanilla Fudge Brownie Ice Cream

OK, this is my own fault. I do nothing but complain about the passing of the Good Old Snacking Days and yelling at those new-fangled ice cream flavors to get off of my lawn. I even wrote in my peach ice cream article about my fear that one of my favorite old flavors, vanilla fudge twirl, might be extinct.

So what do I do when faced by a virtual wall of flavors that includes my favorite old standby? Do I stick faithfully to the old friend when he shows up, after all that complaining that he never calls and never writes? Do I rejoice at his return?

No. What I do is get distracted by all the choices and pick another flavor. Because look - vanilla fudge brownie. It’s exactly like vanilla fudge twirl except that it also has pieces of brownie in it. How can you lose?

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