I had to try these. I owed it to Science, see.

Because when I try any other chocolate chip cookie, this is what I am comparing them to. They are my baseline chocolate chip cookie. But, after writing the review of the Whole Foods cookies, I realized that I hadn’t had these since they changed to no trans fats.

The thing is, I just didn’t want to know. I had been traumatized by the no trans fat Oreos and decided to just live in my memories.

But now for you, gentle reader, I had to make the sacrifice.
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After my last stomach-churning encounter with oversize cookies from an overpriced market, I promised myself I’d abstain from such indulgences. I was forced to eat my silent words a few days ago, when a bevy of mountainous, delicious-looking cookies entered my line of sight at Bristol Farms. Trapped within their deadly line of influence, I had no choice but to obey their siren song. I drew steadily closer to the bakery counter, wanting to resist but unable to break the spell.

Entrancing though these cookies were, I needed to perform a litmus test before falling victim to another disgusting-snack swindle. Tentatively, I cupped one of the cookies in my hand. It was as heavy as it appeared, being of a texture that was simultaneously rock-like and slightly yielding. I held the sample specimen, a Pike’s Peak of chocolate chip delight, to my nose, and was rewarded with the scents of genuine butter, brown sugar, and chocolate. This cookie passed muster, as did the other three varieties (Oatmeal Raisin, Peanut Butter/Chocolate Swirl, and Colossal Toffee Crunch). Whole Foods nasty-cookie legacy be darned; I was sold.
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You may wonder why I keep buying cookies at Whole Foods, given my past experience. Which is at best indifferent (think Crummy Brothers Chocolate Chip Cookies) and at worst, infuriating (Late July, I’m looking at you).

The fact is that I live basically right across the street from a Whole Foods. Whereas the Safeway is five blocks away. And given the total lack of meal planning in my household I am in the Whole Foods most days of the week. And given that I crave a snack every day of the week… well, you see the inevitable result.

I am determined, therefore, to find something that will work to fulfill my chocolate-chip cravings without walking all the way to another supermarket. My chocolate-chip craving is usually looking for either a completely homemade cookie, or for Chips Ahoy, which is the brand I have been eating all my life. The in-store bakery has something that will do for the homemade thing. But what about that all-American craving for a cookie made in a huge factory by an enormous corporate conglomerate?
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Used to be, it was pretty safe to walk past the cookie section at a natural foods store. There was very little that was tempting – it all seemed to be designed as “treats” for the sad offspring of parents who were terrified to let little Madison and Joshua put anything in their mouths that might be remotely fun.

Well, I took a wrong turn down an aisle at Whole Foods recently and, boy, things have changed. A lot of this stuff is surely way too fancy (and expensive) to be meant for junk-deprived kiddies. And here’s the thing: these natural products ought to have a real fighting chance to be delicious. Because when I read the box, I see real ingredients that I would use to bake at home: butter, vanilla extract, sugar… rather than extra-high-test corn syrup and multisyllabic words that would be more at home on a Periodic Table of Industrial Foodstuffs.
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When you think “Pepperidge Farm” you probably don’t think “low calorie.” I have always been afraid to do the math, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the calories in a full package of Milano cookies would keep a family of four alive for a week. Which is not necessarily bad – what more cheerful thing to keep in your emergency stash for earthquakes and blackouts? – but it means that this is not likely to be your usual Pepperidge Farm product.

So, 100 calorie cookie packs. How do they do it? When I picked up the box, it was so surprisingly light that I thought the trick was that there were basically no cookies in the box. The packaging is definitely excessive – the box does not need to be that big to hold the five individual packets. Lots of air for your money, here.

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