Snack Review: Trader Joe’s Cheese Sticks

Hmm, is this a trend? This is the second snack I’ve eaten lately that tastes like an odd part of some other food that isn’t usually eaten in isolation. There were the chicken crackers that tasted like fried chicken crust, and now these.

These are allegedly “Sharp Cheddar Sourdough Twists” which are “baked twice.” The “baked twice” might be what does it - what these taste like is the almost-burnt cheese on the top of a quiche or a casserole of macaroni and cheese. You know those dark brown parts you get if it’s cooked enough, on top or on the sides of the dish?

They actually don’t taste much like sharp cheddar, though. Also I don’t taste anything particularly sourdough. I don’t see anything in the ingredients that would make them taste that way, and I suspect that food companies use “sourdough” as a way to evoke vague associations with fancy artisan breads. But I do appreciate that they are made of real food - no multisyllabic ingredients or fake sourdough flavor.

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Snack Review: Michael Season’s Baked Multigrain Chips

A few weeks ago, the snacking Goddess herself, Caitlin, asked if I’d be interested in reviewing baked multigrain chips. Naturally I accepted. When it comes to crunchy, salty snacks, Sun Chips are at the top of my list. That’s right - when it comes to chips, I’ve always preferred the multigrain variety to the potato- and tortilla-types. Pretty healthy, right?

Well, not really - Sun chips may be a lesser evil among our beloved sinful, salty snacks. But when it comes to being good for you, they have nothing on the Baked Multigrain Chips produced by Michael Season’s. The Addison, IL.-based company’s motto is “Feel-Good Snacking.” This seems to suggest that either you should feel good about eating such wholesome foods, or that the products taste so amazing, they’ll make you “feel good” with every bite. I’m guessing the PR department at Michael Season’s was going for the former interpretation.

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Snack Review: New Combos in Zesty Salsa and Jalapeño Cheddar Tortilla

In honor of their Ultimate ManCation Sweepstakes promotion, the good people at Combos decided to send me a few samples of their merchandise. Saturday morning, a FedEx man arrived with a decently large package which turned out to contain four bags of the beloved cheese and cracker/pretzel rolls. Three were family-sized (6.3-oz.) packs, with six (supposed) servings apiece, and the other was single-serve (1.5 oz.)

Two of the larger bags were reserved for the popular snack’s first and most beloved flavors, Cheddar and Nacho Cheese. The final large bag contained the newest variety of Combos to be released (Zesty Salsa-Tortilla). The single-serve bag held another new flavor, Cheddar-Jalapeno Tortilla. Until I searched for an image of the bag, and came up empty-handed, I had no idea how new. As it turns out, this variety of Combo hasn’t been released yet, so shhhh! Don’t tell anyone!

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Snack Review: Trader Joe’s Cheddar Cheese Squares Crackers

Oh, Trader Joe’s. The highs can be so high (those lovely Popped Potato Chips), but the lows can be so, so low.

These look like Cheez-its, which are my household’s favored brand of cheese cracker. I should have realized, it’s better to go with something totally new than with a copy of something you already like. The odds are pretty good that if you think something is perfect, any small difference is going to seem like a step down from perfection.

Oh, and it was not a small difference.

These crackers don’t taste like cheese. They taste, bizarrely, like milk. I immediately looked at the ingredients, and the explanation is clear: “Natural flavor (milk).”

Actual milk could never impart such a strong milky taste and still result in a cracker-textured cracker. It would have to be a chemical from a bottle. And don’t let the “natural” fool you – “natural flavors” are still industrial products, made in a factory; the difference from “artificial” is just based on what ingredients they started out with.

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Snack Review: Michael Season’s Baked Cheddar Cheese Pops

When I hear the words “cheesy poofs,” my mind immediately jumps to a little round kid in a red sweater, sitting on his couch and screaming obscenities at his cat. Don’t know what I’m talking about? Well, I suggest you hunker down for a marathon viewing of South Park – during which you will inevitably encounter Eric Cartman singing the praises of puffy cheese treats.

Nary a South Park season goes by without Cartman preaching the cheese puff gospel. Despite the free advertising this implies, I’d venture that snack manufactures aren’t terribly pleased with this development. After all, with “healthy” foods flying off supermarket shelves, no one wants to be the snack with the high calorie count. Personally, if I were a cheese puff CEO (those exist, right?), the last thing I’d want is a slightly obese cartoon character giving my product two pudgy thumbs up.

How then, would a snack manufacturer remake the cheese puff image? Well, according to Michael Season, the answer lies in using organic ingredients, shying away from food coloring, and slapping the word “gourmet” onto your packaging.

Oh yeah, and making your product so tasty that snack reviewers demolish their sample bag. That always helps.

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