Snack Review: Sweet Street Desserts

I was a tough customer for these. First of all, I bake from scratch. Second of all, I live in a big city with access to plenty of bakeries, and don’t really need to order cake in the mail.

Third of all: They make a big selling point of the fact that these are the same desserts that you get in restaurants, and now you can get them at home! Note that what this means is that they are the desserts you get in restaurants that don’t make their own desserts, but instead buy them frozen. Since I am highly suspicious of any restaurant that doesn’t make its desserts in-house, I am extremely unimpressed with this selling point.

I’m just putting my cards on the table here, so you know where I’m coming from, to be fair to these products. But I figured, hey, maybe I have been going to the wrong chain restaurants. And I never met a baked good that I wouldn’t try at least once, so I wasn’t going to turn my nose up at these when they arrived at my door.

I got two kinds to sample, Toffee Crunch Blondie, and the Summerberry Stack. My assistant at the Snackerrific Silver Spring outpost, who is not that big a fan of dessert, insisted on defrosting and trying the blondies immediately, they looked so good to him. They definitely looked pretty. Remember, these are made for the restaurant trade, so the way they look on the dessert tray or in the glossy color pictures in the dessert menu is critical. If the goal of these products was to have us look at them and think OOO, WANT NOW, it worked.

Read more

Snack Review: H.E.B. New Orleans King Cake

O.K., so I know I usually review healthy stuff for Snackerrific and leave the sugar for Candy Addict, but I am a firm believer in indulgence (moderately) every now and then. So if I am going to indulge, I prefer to do so on something out of the ordinary.

Walking into my local H.E.B., the sight of a giant cake covered in gold, green, and purple sprinkles stuck out like a rainbow sore thumb amidst the breads and muffins. As I approached the mysterious pastry, I discovered it was indeed what I suspected: a king cake.

My first and only exposure to king cake, as a child who never lived in an area that celebrated Mardi Gras, was in my sophomore year of high school. I remember my AP European History teacher, Mrs. Fine, bringing the festive confection to class shortly before Mardi Gras, as she was a native of New Orleans.

The story behind king cake originates from the three kings who journeyed to Bethlehem over twelve days (ergo, the twelve days of Christmas). What a cake has to do with that I am not sure, as I was raised Jewish, but you’re supposed to consume king cake between Epiphany Day (the twelfth day of Christmas) and Mardi Gras. A plastic baby, said to commemorate Jesus, is inserted into the cake, and whoever finds it is responsible for providing the next cake.

Read more

Snack Review: Little Debbie 100 Calorie Snacks

I’ve been crazy about Little Debbie since I was Little Jimmy. I remember fervently wishing that the cute cowgirl on the snack cake package lived nearby so we could play together, not knowing Debbie was easily twice my age at the time. Like all good stories, there’s a narrative arc: Now Little Debbie is following ME! On Twitter! (LittleDebbie is trying to make you salivate like a Great Dane who missed lunch. about 5 minutes ago from web)

What’s more, she sent me a huge box of cute li’l snacks! For pre-packaged, mass-produced cakes and sweet treats, you can’t find much better than this.

The trick to wise snacking is sensible portions in moderation. Little Debbie’s 100 Calorie Snacks help us do just that, or at least suggest it; the rest is up to us. These snacks have about the same fat and sugar content as their regular items, but the serving sizes are anywhere from 50-60% smaller. In short, you’re eating the same sweet and fatty food, just less of it. At least it’s a start.

Although I’m not a body builder like the narrator’s father and brothers in Jonathan Evison’s excellent first novel, All About Lulu, I swear I thought my arms were super bulked when I grabbed a Yellow Cake (with “butter creme” icing) and a Triple Fudge Brownie.

Man, I’m massive!

Read more

Snack Review: Buen Appetito Quesadilla Cheese Cake

Gas station pastries: we know ‘em, we love ‘em, and, although we know they’re not exactly good for us, when pressed for time, we often find ourselves indulging. Like cigarettes, these assorted danishes and cakes pack enough unpronounceable chemicals and preservatives to ensure us a place in the “Body Worlds” exhibit following our untimely deaths. Despite their insanely cheap prices, many of these delights manage to look beautiful. One ubiquitous brand even has a suitably upscale name to accompany its appearance: Bon Appetit.

Here in Southern California, a mere two hours from Mexico’s Baja peninsula, our convenience stores carry an ethnic variant: Buen Appetito. The pastries are FrankenFood versions of what you might expect to find at a Mexican panederia… there are conchas, tropical-fruit turnovers and corn muffins. The packages share the clear plastic and chic red-and-beige label of their French parent companies, but in place of the little parasol over “Bon Appetit,” a sultry Latina with come-hither eyes greets you from above the slightly-altered brand name. A subtle, yet clever marketing decision.

Read more

Snack Review: Enten-mini’s Tubes Chocolate Commotion

OK, first, Tubes. What? Isn’t this kind of a gross name for a food? Does it have a companion in another flavor named Pipes? Or Hoses?

There is an illustration of a skateboarder up in the corner there on the package. Maybe I am too old and uncool to realize that Tubes is a totally (insert your own up-to-date slang for “awesome” here) skateboarding term. And, it turns out, I am also too old to enjoy this snack.

I recently mentioned that I am a sucker for cake rolled up with creamy stuff in it. Trying these made me realize that I should have said “cream” as in, something made from a substance that originally came from a cow.

I especially love the combination of dark chocolate and vanilla cream and thus used to be a big eater of Yodels, Ring Dings, and Devil Dogs. But the more I ate more adult versions of dark chocolate and of vanilla cream, the less satisfying these commercial treats became.

Of course they also might not be as good as they used to be, as I am always whining about in regards to one thing or another. But they never had real cream in them, I’m sure, so clearly at least part of the issue is my own evolving tastes.

I still eat a Devil Dog once in a while when I can find them, because without the chocolate coating there’s one less thing for me to complain about. But mostly, I have become too fussy for these easily accessible treats to satisfy my cake-with-cream cravings.

I also used to eat a lot of Entenmann’s products, as I suppose most New Yorkers of my age did. They’re also not as good as they used to be, of course. But the combination of the Entenmann’s name and the Yodel-like concept of these, and the fact that they were sold in a small package of two – well, why not try them?

Read more