Snack Review: Trader Joe’s Crunchy Oats and Honey Granola Bars

I have no idea why I bought these. I never, ever met a granola bar that I liked. I don’t know what I was thinking.

I might hate granola bars because I never met a granola I liked, either. But lately, I have found one exception, which is a Trader Joe’s Maple Pecan Granola with Flakes. They have the same cereal in several other flavors, but when I tried another – hated it. So there is really only one single granola on earth that I can eat.

That wouldn’t seem to bode well for these: they are not Trader Joe’s maple pecan granola bars. So when I put them in my basket, either I had lost my mind at the moment or… gained psychic powers?

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Snack Review: Kardea Nutrition Bar

OK, so these are all about heart health and “natural cholesterol management.” If you want to know about that, go read their website. My business here is how they taste, because if they don’t taste good, who cares how healthy they are? If I want to eat something healthy that tastes bad, that’s why they invented vegetables and whole grains, thanks very much.

Anyway, I can’t tell you more, because I stopped reading the website myself before it stopped me from trying these at all. For some reason, phrases like “More Viscous Soluble Fiber than Heart Healthy Oatmeal” don’t fill me with anticipation of deliciousness. “Viscous” just isn’t a word that I want anywhere near a description of my snacks, you know?

The manufacturer had kindly sent all four flavors for me to sample. I decided to try the cranberry-almond first because it was post-dinnertime and that flavor sounded most like dessert.

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Snack Review: Kellogg’s Nutri-Grain Fruit & Nut Bars

I’m usually not a big fan of anything with fruits and nuts in it, but I thought I’d give these Kellogg’s Nutri-Grain Fruit & Nut bars a try since I don’t seem to be that healthy of an eater.

These come in two different flavors - Berry & Almond and Cranberry, Raisin & Peanut.

At first, I thought this bar would be hard and probably crack one of my teeth when I bit into it. But that was not the case because it is a soft, flexible bar. I say flexible because I always have fun bending the bars back and forth while they are still in their package.

I first tried the Berry & Almond bar because it looked slightly more appealing to me than the other. (Remember, I dislike fruit and nuts.) When I opened it, the bar was so soft it started bending on its own and almost fell apart. The bar is actually fun to look at: it’s covered in what look like cranberries, oats, crispy rice, bran cereal and almonds.

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Snack Review: Luna Bar Nutz Over Chocolate

I decided to try out a Luna Bar because I’ve heard so many people talking about them. They advertise these bars as “The Whole Nutrition Bar for Women,” and I’m a woman, so I thought I’d give it a try.

The bar that I tried was Luna: Nutz Over Chocolate.

The packaging is pretty. It shows three women in various exercise or yoga poses while standing behind a light blue background of the moon. But enough with the looks, let’s get into the product.

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Snack Review: Barbara’s Bakery Whole Wheat Fig Bars

The more nutrition research that comes out, the more I lose hope that we’re ever going to see that longed-for future in Woody Allen’s movie Sleeper – you know, the one where they’ve figured out that steak and fried foods (and no doubt hot fudge sundaes with real whipped cream) are good for you. But if that’s never going to happen, how about a future where something like a whole wheat fig bar actually tastes good?

Well, I’m pretty dubious about that possibility too, so I did not personally purchase these. The blame or credit goes to another member of my household who shall remain nameless. But they sat there on the counter, staring at me. Ha, they said. All that stuff you buy at Whole Foods, but you’re afraid to tackle a real whole food. All that big talk about trying to eat healthier, as soon as you finish the ice-cream cone you’re in the middle of. We know your type.

Well. I am not going to let a package of fig bars talk like that to me.

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