Snackcessorizing with Room Candy: A Guest Review

Disclaimer: As much as I’d love to take credit for the following review, it’s not mine. All thoughts and opinions expressed below are those of my special guest critic. This girl’s fat, furry, and fabulous — and boy, does she know what she wants. I hope you all love her as much as I do. Ladies and gentleman: without further ado, I give you… Tiger!

Howdy, everybody (purr). My name’s Tiger, and I’m honored today to share with you a feline perspective in the wide world of snacking (meow). I’ll be the first to tell you that I don’t always get human habits, and reading all your food reviews has been an eye-opening experience for me.

So, about a week ago, I was minding my own business (meow), resting on the balcony and watching all the birds I’d catch if I weren’t so lazy. All of a sudden, I hear something interesting from my humans - most unusual (meow meow)! The smaller, newer human (Rachel, or as I prefer to call her, The Devil) mentioned that, thanks to Snackerrific, “free stuff” was headed toward my home, and that said “free stuff,” from somewhere called “Room Candy,” was all for me (purr)!

“Snacks”? “Candy?” Whatever this so-called “free stuff” was, it sounded delicious. I wondered if it would be fish, poultry or beef-flavored, and if it would be wet (purrrrr) or dry (row). Whatever it was, my anticipation and gratitude were such that over the next several days, I actually acknowledged Devil Lady when she wasn’t making me dinner.

So, a few days later, you can imagine my excitement when my older, taller, and… favorite human, Mike, comes up the stairs with a package and announces that it’s “probably the stuff from that website!” I nearly forgot about my litter box in excitement (me-Ow!) But before the package was opened, I began to second guess myself, and the judgment of my humans. The box, about the size of a six-pack of my favorite wet meals, was within my line of sight, but… I couldn’t smell meat (grrrr). Actually, the box was unscented (grrr grrr!)

Then the Devil Lady sliced open the package, and withdrew a bag of colorful cloth things which looked like HUMAN snacks. GrrROW! I was not amused. My level of amusement steadily declined as Devil Lady waved a pink circular cloth-thing in front of my eyes, as if mocking me. Leering at me, she gave the thing a squeeze. It squeaked. THAT was the final insult. I mean, she’s an evil Homewrecker and all, but she thinks I’m a DOG? Naturally, I raised my tail and haughtily walked away. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive her (until she feeds me next - meow).

Devil Lady may have angered me, but Room Candy managed to redeem itself with another thing they sent. Along with the dog toys (growl), they sent a bag of these fun little toys, also shaped like human snacks, which are really fun for scratching, and heaven to bat at (purrrr). Plus, the little toys are happy - they all have sewn-on smilies. Mike calls the things “keychains.” That’s a weird name (meow meow).

According to the humans, Room Candy sells lots of interesting snack-themed toys and accessories, mostly for humans (eh) and dogs (hiss). I suppose if you have one of those nasty little beasts and you really wanted to indulge them, this is a good way to share your snacks without having to give up any of the real thing. However, I have advice for the folks at Room Candy: make stuff for kitties - lots of fish-flavored stuff for kitties. Oh, but keep making those lovely plushie keychains (purrr) - and add a little catnip while you’re at it!

• Room Candy

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