Snack Review: Triple Chocolate Fudgsicle Assortment

After my traumatic experience with the Chocolate Éclair Bar, you’d think I’d have learned. But I was intrigued by the introduction of dark and white chocolate versions of the original Fudgsicle. I realized that this just left me open to the possibility that this would be a box of Triple Disappointment: the old-fashioned milk chocolate being not as good as I remembered and the new kinds being both not traditional and no good at all.

But what can I say? Hope springing eternal, as well as the fact that “Triple Disappointment” sounded like a charmingly bad translation of a name of a dish on a Chinese restaurant menu, sucked me in.

And if that weren’t enough, I looked at the ingredients and was reminded that the original Fudgsicle is actually chocolate malted flavor. We may not have a chocolate malt flavor cookie like Crunky in this country, but here was a chance for a domestically-produced hit of chocolate malt that I’d forgotten about. Now it was my patriotic duty as well.

I am pretty sure that when I was kid – in the long ago days before Haagen-Dasz was even invented, yes, I am that old – Fudgsicles seemed very intensely chocolaty. Of course, they don’t, anymore, in a world where so many dark chocolate products are clamoring for our snacking attention. This was no doubt the inspiration for inventing the dark chocolate version.

Unfortunately, the Fudgsicle people appear to be unaware that dark chocolate is not just a darker color – and that white chocolate is not the flavor of the absence of chocolate.

Speaking of Haagen-Dasz, what I was hoping for in the dark chocolate was something like a particular Haagen-Dasz bar that I haven’t seen around in a long time, a kind of chocolate sorbet bar that was really terrific. Yes, I know, there I go again, living in the past – but that doesn’t excuse how lame these dark chocolate Fudgsicles were. They are just bland, with none of the intensity and richness that a good dark chocolate should have.

And the white chocolate – well, they’re just about what you would expect given that there is no cocoa butter in the list of ingredients. Bleah. I don’t know what they were thinking with this one.

But – rejoice – despite the failure of the newfangled attempts at fanciness, the original Fudgsicle was just what I wanted – a light, not overly rich version of a chocolate malt on a stick.

So, it was only a box of Double Disappointment – and that’s easily remedied, next time, by buying the box that only contains the original flavor. I’ll call that a success.

• Popsicle Website

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