Snack Review: Snack Patrol Cheese Jerky
Some words just naturally seem to fit with “jerky.” You know, like “beef.” Or perhaps “turkey.” Heck, even “soy” doesn’t seem too far-fetched. Even vegetarians get cravings for salty bits of high-protein chewing gum now and again.
On the other hand, there are some things most sane people never want to hear directly before “jerky.” “Sofa,” for instance… and I can’t imagine many people would be too anxious to try Cigar Jerky. Then again, most people wouldn’t touch a product called “Cheese Jerky” with a ten-foot pole, either. After all, cheese is basically rotten milk. How would someone go about drying that out and turning it into jerky?
I was disturbingly curious. When Snack Patrol offered to send out samples of their unique and cheesy treat, I simply had to volunteer for the review. After being assured of my heroic bravery by our dear editor, I was even more psyched to try the cheesy treat. Even if I was only able to handle a bit, I’d have bragging rights!
A week after my fate was sealed, a silvery package from Wisconsin arrived at my door. “Open and refrigerate immediately!” warned the package. “That’s strange,” I thought. “Why should jerky need to be refrigerated?”
As it turns out, because cheese jerky is a vastly different product than I would have imagined. I suppose that’s a good thing. However, it’s a bit of a stretch to brag about stomaching beef-infused string cheese.
That’s right! “Cheese jerky” is not jerky at all, but 1.5-ounce strips of Wisconsin mozzarella string cheese dotted here and there with bits of beef jerky. After my initial letdown at not having a genuine “Bizarre Foods” moment, relief set in. So did hunger. I hadn’t yet eaten, and the little dairy delights had arrived at precisely the right time. Needless to say, I was anxious to fulfill my journalistic duty to snackers everywhere and taste.
The “jerky” comes in two flavors, Original and Peppered, both of which I received. Being quite fond of spicy things, I decided to save the “Peppered” sort for last, and eagerly ripped open a stick of “Original.”
I tried to tear a strip from the side of my cheese in typical string cheese fashion, but found the task difficult. I made a second attempt, and a third, but each time a bit of beef jerky would get in the way. At last, I settled for a half-strand.
My first impression was of extremely fresh, mildly salty >mozzarella. Well-done string cheese, but nothing extraordinary. Then, the jerky flavor kicked in. Only… the beefy bits interspersed throughout the cheese were so tiny they were less like jerky than salami. I liked the flavor; it reminded me of something you might find in a holiday gift set from Hickory Farms. What can I say? This hit the spot, and if I were to see it in a local store, I’d buy it in a heartbeat.
Next came the “Peppered” version. Despite my usual love of all things spicy (such as the ground black peppercorns featured here), I was underwhelmed by this variety. Maybe it’s because the peppery taste is fairly mild, or maybe it’s due to the fact that the pepper eclipses the wonderful salami taste of the original kind. Either way, I’d rank the second version of cheese jerky just below the ordinary sort of unadorned string cheese you might find at the corner 7-11. Of course, other snackers’ opinions may differ!
In sampling this product, I’ve learned an important snacking lesson: Not only should one never judge a snack by its packaging; one should never judge a snack by its moniker! “Cheese Jerky,” which sounds an awful lot like something growing on an unwashed caveman, actually turned out to be very tasty.
3 Comments
Jim on June 26th, 2009
*Pinning Cheese-Jerky Medal of Honor upon you.* Well done, Snack Soldier.
IanthePez on July 2nd, 2009
This just looks so great. If I ever see it in my area I’ll be buying a lot!
Sila on June 26th, 2009
This whole post reminded me of an episode of Hannah Montana (Yes, I watch Hannah Montana. Try it sometime; it’s actually quite entertaining. I wish there was more family friendly fare like it on television. :-)) In a very “you got your peanut butter on my chocolate” episode, an accident lead to the invention of cheese jerky. I’ve been tempted to try it myself ever since.