Snack Review: Seneca’s Crispy Cinnamon Apple Chips

Let me share something with you guys – I’m from the Berkshires, a tree-covered cow oasis at the edge of the demented rectangle that is Massachusetts (think “opposite of Cape Cod,” and you’re there). Where I grew up, old paper mills perch atop snow-covered foothills, cows bellow loudly at the rising sun, and restless teenagers throw loud, vodka-fueled house parties in an effort to quell their epic boredom. Basically, it’s like any other American suburb, but with fewer Republicans and more fresh air.

As far as I can tell, our economy sustains itself on two main exports: 1) Rustic New England Charm, which we serve by the bucketful to middle-age tourists from New York. And 2), apples.

Yes, round, glistening apples. In the Berkshires, apple orchards are as plentiful as Priuses blasting NPR. They inspire a love that other towns reserve for their high school football teams, or local dogs who save their owners by dialing 911 with their snouts. We even hold a three-day festival called the “Apple Squeeze,” which features more apple fritters than should be legally allowed within a four block radius.

What I’m trying to say with this extended introduction, is that when I placed one of Seneca’s Crispy Apple Chips in my mouth, I had a Proustian experience that transported me straight back to one of those Berkshire orchards. Seneca claims to use “fresh apples” in their products, and honestly, I have to believe them. Eating one of their Crispy Apple Chips felt like biting into a Macintosh plucked straight from the tree - and I’m fully aware of how schlocky that sounds.

Seneca’s apple chips are mouth-watering for a number of reasons. First, even though they’re crispy, they send small bursts of juice into your mouth when you bite down on them. This is more than I can say for the dehydrated apple chips that sit near the register at most health food stores. While those chewy morsels might be good for hikes or fallout shelters (I hear they last for decades!), I have yet to sample a variety that propels little floods of apple juice over your tongue.

Second, you gotta love the seasoning. After my disheartening encounter with Terra sweet potato chips, I knew better than to accidentally purchase the “plain” variety of these crisps. So I bought Cinnamon, because I’m an apple traditionalist, and because I wasn’t ready for the shock that Sour implied. I’m pleased to report that I made the right choice, because these chips are covered, and I mean covered, in scrumptious cinnamon sugar. They’ll leave your hands glittering like a drag queen’s eyelids, and that’s fine by me, since I’ve always been one to lick my fingers.

All in all, Seneca’s apple chips should trigger drooling in any normal human. As a testament to their yumminess, know that I left an open bag in the common room of my apartment, and my roommates emptied it within half an hour.

I guess I’ll just have to buy another bag if I’m feeling homesick.

• Seneca Crispy Apple Chips Website

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