Snack Review: Colossal Cookies from Bristol Farms
After my last stomach-churning encounter with oversize cookies from an overpriced market, I promised myself I’d abstain from such indulgences. I was forced to eat my silent words a few days ago, when a bevy of mountainous, delicious-looking cookies entered my line of sight at Bristol Farms. Trapped within their deadly line of influence, I had no choice but to obey their siren song. I drew steadily closer to the bakery counter, wanting to resist but unable to break the spell.
Entrancing though these cookies were, I needed to perform a litmus test before falling victim to another disgusting-snack swindle. Tentatively, I cupped one of the cookies in my hand. It was as heavy as it appeared, being of a texture that was simultaneously rock-like and slightly yielding. I held the sample specimen, a Pike’s Peak of chocolate chip delight, to my nose, and was rewarded with the scents of genuine butter, brown sugar, and chocolate. This cookie passed muster, as did the other three varieties (Oatmeal Raisin, Peanut Butter/Chocolate Swirl, and Colossal Toffee Crunch). Whole Foods nasty-cookie legacy be darned; I was sold.
The gargantuan cookies set me back $12.76 ($3.15 apiece, plus sixteen cents of indeterminate origin). Their sheer size nearly made up for the cost - at six super-dense ounces each, the treats are portioned more like meals than snacks or desserts. I’d guess they’re more than most mere mortals can eat in a sitting. Then again, it took me only five sessions to finish all four cookies - of course, I eat more than most mere mortals - and they were that good.
Yes, with the first bite of my Colossal Toffee Crunch cookie, my regrettable past experience with giant cookies receded into obscurity. With a solid crack and a bit of crumble, I held a Godiva Truffle-sized chunk of cookie, strewn with dark chocolate chips and sticky toffee streaks. It gave fairly easily in my mouth, revealing a sandy-yet-moist and buttery texture unlike any baked good I’d previously tasted. Its chocolate chips were high-quality, with a nice balance of cacao and sweet tones. The toffee pockets were decently-sized and reminded me of melted Heath bar.
In the throes of cookie heaven, I found it difficult to wrest myself from my new found chocolate-toffee love. Yet, some remaining I didn’t want to squander my appetite (to say nothing of my body’s calorie-burning capacity) on a single flavor. I left the Toffee Crunch cookie to its devices and broke off a piece of Peanut-Butter Chocolate Swirl.
My second sweet ‘n floury victim had a similar basic texture, slightly drier but still moist-oily enough. The peanut butter and chocolate elements in the dough were about evenly balanced, and the use of real peanut butter was evident. I was (pleasantly) surprised to discover chocolate chips in the cookie’s Dutch cocoa-ish “chocolate” element. I found this at least as delicious, if not more so, than the colossal Toffee Crunch.
My Oatmeal-Raisin cookie appeared larger than any of its brethren, which makes sense given its relatively soft texture and low density. All in all, this was my least favorite cookie, but only because, of the flavors sampled, Oatmeal-Raisin is my least favorite in general. I have to be in a specific mood to properly savor the spicy, old-fashioned delights of such a cookie, and I was not in that mind frame at the time of sampling. I will say, though, that all the elements of a spectacular Oatmeal-Raisin cookie are present here, and more. More raisins and oats than usual are featured here, as are an abundance of chopped pecans. Cinnamon and nutmeg come along for the ride, too!
Finally, it was time to sample the Chocolate Chip cookie, and I must say - if my old friend the Colossal Toffee Crunch was “cookie heaven,” I may just have reached “cookie nirvana” with this one. It had the same hard-moist-crumbly brown sugar-butter texture as its closest relative, but more of it. Between that superlative dough and the perfect, oversize chocolate chips, I reached a state of perfect bliss and oneness with all creation. Maybe I’m exaggerating… but that’s the level of ecstasy I felt at the time.
In the past, I’ve scolded myself for being a slow learner when it comes to food. No matter how many curry-induced gastrointestinal agonies I go through, I continue to crave, and order, the fiery stuff, always believing my stomach will somehow behave. In this case, I’m appreciative of my inability to learn from experience. After all, if I’d judged all expensive, plastic-wrapped giant cookies based on one less-than-ideal experience, I’d never have discovered my new favorite cookies! Speaking of which… segments of the treats remain in my fridge, and writing this has made me more than slightly hungry. Later!
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[...] At first I tried to reason with her, but then I came to my senses and realized I was trying to turn down free goodies. When she asked what I wanted, it took only a second to figure out. Colossal Cookies from Bristol Farms! [...]
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