Snack Drink Review: Starbucks Vivanno Smoothies

First let’s get the rant out of the way: why do these need their own cute brand name? Isn’t Starbucks already a brand name?

Now, I’m not a big fan of Starbucks. I don’t like the whole corporate-monolith thing. I don’t like their burnt coffee and their espresso drinks that mostly taste like milk. I’m not saying I don’t go there - they are the only game in town in too many places for that to be possible – but I don’t really like them.

But I do have to say that they do a decent job with chocolate things. Their mochas solve the problem of their lattes having no real flavor – when made well, they’re very good chocolate drinks.

And I wasn’t disappointed in the chocolate-banana smoothie. It was chocolaty and it had just the right hint of banana - not so much that you’d worry about it being too healthy or anything. It had a nice texture, sort of like a milkshake, or like they use a frozen banana, which comes out a lot like ice cream when put through a blender (DO try that at home, by the way. It’s a great thing).

I was more apprehensive about the orange mango banana flavor. I have an intense relationship with mango, one which has long been the sort of affair that makes a person do things against their better judgment. I knew from experience that usually orange-mango flavor turns out to be a trick to make me buy something horribly disappointing that just tastes like orange. I was pleased and surprised that this smoothie wasn’t like that. There was a nice balance of all three fruit flavors – no one stuck out too much.

The chocolate-banana one, which I have tried at two different stores, does seem to be variable, like many of their drinks. I tried to try it with a shot of espresso, but I am pretty sure the barista forgot to add it - not only was there no hint of coffee flavor, but I was still yawning after I drank it.

The week I tried these, Starbucks was handing out coupons in the morning for reduced price drinks if you came back for yet more coffee in the afternoon. I imagine there is less demand for stimulating beverages later in the day. If these smoothies are another way to bring in business at that time, they seem like a great idea to me. This is exactly the kind of thing that I want for that late afternoon slump that I’m afraid to treat with caffeine because it might keep me awake at night. You know, that peckish feeling that in other places is the rationale for afternoon tea, which is a meal we really need to see more of in this country.

They only come in one size, but it’s OK, because it’s just the right size. It’s their ‘grande,’ which despite the imposing name is not very large. So they aren’t forcing you to have a enormous serving like the smoothie bars that I’ve had occasion to try, which seemed to think that you wanted to be able to survive for a couple of days on one fruit drink. Their website says that one smoothie is 270 calories, which is reasonable for a beverage that I’m using as sort of meal, not a thirst quencher.

So, you know, I kind of hate to give Starbucks a good review, but I would definitely drink both of these again, and they fill a useful function. They are a good addition to their menu - and a great way for me to avoid ranting about how much I don’t really like their coffee drinks at the same time as I’m drinking one.

• Starbucks Vivanno website

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