Snack Review: Somersaults

Despite the fact that I’m a Candy Addict at heart, my move to the west coast and (albeit reluctant) transition into adulthood have succeeded in transforming me into somewhat of a health nut in recent years. I do yoga. I avoid partially hydrogenated oils. I am pretty damn close to vegan when I’m not indulging a lethal cookie craving. And I snack constantly. (Really, constantly.) As such, I’ve become well acquainted with the myriad ways to dress-up a carrot stick, and have befriended many a bowl of high-fiber cereal. But as I also maintain an active lifestyle, I’ve found that these go-to snacks aren’t necessarily ideal for on-the-go, and am on a seemingly endless search for the perfect portable treat. Until now, that is. Because that treat has just recently somersaulted into my life, compliments of the Somersault Snack Co., utterly winning over my crunchy nugget-craving, gymnastic-loving heart.

Per the company’s product info, Somersaults come in three flavors: S.S. Sea Salt, Salty Pepper, and Chez Cocoa, and are “A crunchy bundle of goodness baked with toasted grains, sunflower and sesame seeds. They are the perfect blend of protein, fiber and nutrition!” That all sounded very pleasing indeed, though it left me rather unclear as to what Somersaults actually WERE. What might they taste like? I wondered. What might they be comparable to?

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Snack Review: Sweet Street Desserts

I was a tough customer for these. First of all, I bake from scratch. Second of all, I live in a big city with access to plenty of bakeries, and don’t really need to order cake in the mail.

Third of all: They make a big selling point of the fact that these are the same desserts that you get in restaurants, and now you can get them at home! Note that what this means is that they are the desserts you get in restaurants that don’t make their own desserts, but instead buy them frozen. Since I am highly suspicious of any restaurant that doesn’t make its desserts in-house, I am extremely unimpressed with this selling point.

I’m just putting my cards on the table here, so you know where I’m coming from, to be fair to these products. But I figured, hey, maybe I have been going to the wrong chain restaurants. And I never met a baked good that I wouldn’t try at least once, so I wasn’t going to turn my nose up at these when they arrived at my door.

I got two kinds to sample, Toffee Crunch Blondie, and the Summerberry Stack. My assistant at the Snackerrific Silver Spring outpost, who is not that big a fan of dessert, insisted on defrosting and trying the blondies immediately, they looked so good to him. They definitely looked pretty. Remember, these are made for the restaurant trade, so the way they look on the dessert tray or in the glossy color pictures in the dessert menu is critical. If the goal of these products was to have us look at them and think OOO, WANT NOW, it worked.

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Snack Review: Snack Patrol Cheese Jerky

Some words just naturally seem to fit with “jerky.” You know, like “beef.” Or perhaps “turkey.” Heck, even “soy” doesn’t seem too far-fetched. Even vegetarians get cravings for salty bits of high-protein chewing gum now and again.

On the other hand, there are some things most sane people never want to hear directly before “jerky.” “Sofa,” for instance… and I can’t imagine many people would be too anxious to try Cigar Jerky. Then again, most people wouldn’t touch a product called “Cheese Jerky” with a ten-foot pole, either. After all, cheese is basically rotten milk. How would someone go about drying that out and turning it into jerky?

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Snack Review: Kellogg’s Special K Protein Shakes - Milk Chocolate

I consider myself a connoisseur of all things protein, whether they are shakes, bars, or supplements. For the last five years, I personally blended my own protein shakes using a variety of proteins (whey, casein, soy) and liquids (milk, almond milk, water).

Through trial and error, I like to think I know how a good protein shake should taste and what should (or should not) be in it. So when I was offered a chance to review Special K’s latest line of protein shakes, I thought my background as a proteinoholic would serve me well.

Though there are a few flavors on the market, I was sent their milk chocolate flavor. Glancing over the nutritional breakdown on the back, I first noticed this thing wasn’t for me. 190 calories for 10 grams of protein? To put that into perspective, a gram of protein is 4 calories, so that means this thing has 40 calories derived from protein, or almost only 20 percent. Is that bad? Well, that depends.
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Snack Review: Little Debbie Muffins

I imagined it old school style.

Richard Dawson kissin’ up on the ladies, the giant Family Feud board behind him as he repeats the question: “Name something special you might eat for breakfast.” He winks at the Milwaukee housewife as she bites her lip, concentrating as if her life depended on uttering the most popular response to this inane survey question. She’s really kickin’ those wheels into high gear up there. At last she blurts out: “MUFFINS!”

She’s bouncing and vibrating all over. She’s either ready to burst or smother Dawson in her ample midwestern bosom. Suffice to say, she’s excited. Dawson gives her a wink and a pat on the hand, wiggling his pinky ring with a flourish.

“Show me MUUUFFFINNNNS!”

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