Snack Review: Lemon Tea Snapple (Reformulated)

Perhaps the Boston Tea Party alienated Americans from consuming tea like the rest of the world? For a very long time, I grew up not understanding why people drank tea. No one I knew drank it and so I followed suit. But after living in New Zealand, where everyone drinks the stuff, I became accustomed to it. And by accustomed, I mean I drink maybe… 1 or 2 quarts of the stuff per day of various varieties. Thus, I feel I know a bit about tea.

Around the time I moved back to the US, the green tea health craze had burgeoned, and everyone was incorporating the stuff into his or her diets, a nice change to the chai craze, in my opinion.

Over the years, I have seen green tea and green tea extracts fuse with all sorts of products, including ice cream, hard candy, and chocolate. It’s therefore not surprising to learn that Snapple has recreated and rebranded its trademark teas in the aforementioned fashion.
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Snack Review: Blue Diamond Almond Breeze Vanilla Unsweetened Almond Milk

As a child, my mother had a very difficult time getting me to drink milk. Whole, 2%, nonfat, or even chocolate - you name it, I disliked it. My life seemed content without milk, until I started bodybuilding.

Though the average person needs only around fifty grams of protein a day, it has been suggested that someone training in a high-regimen exercise program consume up to four grams of protein per pound of body weight. In my case, that would be consuming over seven hundred grams!

Now, I can eat a lot (I might have successfully completed the Vermonster challenge… in thirteen and a half minutes), but seven hundred grams of protein? That’s like… like… like eating a baby cow. And frankly, eating a baby cow every day seems rather unappetizing.

So how do I remedy this problem? Well, like most bodybuilders and athletes, I take a variety of protein supplements. Though the bulk of my consumption comes from textured vegetable protein flakes, about a hundred grams is derived from whey protein, which is produced as a byproduct of cheese manufacturing.
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Drink Review: Purity Organic Apple Juice

Like most Americans, I stopped drinking apple juice after fourth grade, when slurping from a cardboard box abruptly lost its appeal (that is, until I discovered box wine 10 years later). From then on, apple juice played a smaller and smaller role in my life. It failed to follow me into adulthood, and therefore remains a liquid nostalgia trip, forever associated with recess and Power Rangers.

Why is this? Why do cranberry and orange juice stick with us after puberty, while apple never makes it past the elementary school checkpoint? Perhaps it’s too sweet for the adult palate, like bubble gum ice cream. Or perhaps it’s ignored because it lacks utilitarian properties. Apple juice won’t detoxify your bloodstream like cranberry, or fight your cold like orange. And it certainly won’t hide the flavor of that stale Smirnoff vodka you found in the back of your kitchen cabinet.

The time is ripe (heh), then, for an apple juice makeover - which is probably what the people at Purity were thinking when they drew up a snappy, modernist label for their all-natural, organic juice brand. Because who says that apples are lamer than oranges? Maybe this apple aversion habit is all in our heads, and it would do us some good to take a swig of the amber liquid. (According to the BBC, apple juice does have health benefits - it can prevent heart disease!)

Unfortunately, by not diluting their product, Purity has created a super-dense brand of juice. While regular, non-organic juice is often watery, the Purity brand is almost too thick. The first time I took a swig, I honestly felt like I was drinking a liquid piece of apple pie. True, you’re getting a bang for your buck with this product, but I doubt I’d be able to finish a bottle in a single sitting. I didn’t even try – as the thought of doing so kind of made me nauseous.

However, while the texture was a little heavy, the taste was A+. It was still sweet, but not overpoweringly so, and I definitely believe this product is 100% pure juice, without additives. You can tell it’s authentic because a fine layer of apple sediment settles on the floor of the bottle after periods of rest. Yeah, baby. That’s the real deal.

So ladies and gents, if you can handle the heady ride of undiluted apple juice, go for it. By swapping that juice box for a recyclable plastic container, you can placate your inner child without feeling like a baby.

• Purity Organic Website

I Drink Your MILKSHAKE!

Milkshakes have always been an important part of the complete snacker’s repertoire, and with the success of this year’s There Will Be Blood and the popularity of the quirky and brilliantly creepy “milkshake” scene (is there any doubt that Daniel Day-Lewis is a genius?), there seems to be a slight surge in popularity for the frosty and deeply satisfying drink.

You can also find t-shirts at the “Ultimate T-Shirt Search Engine” Teenormous featuring the milkshake-drinking catchphrase.

With cooler weather upon us, or at least gaining on us, I took one last look at this summertime beverage and compared a few of the choices on the market. Here are the astounding results.

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Snack Review: Enviga Sparkling Green Tea - The Guilty Snack Counter-Attack

I was thrilled to learn, a few days ago, that the Mighty Snackerrific Powers-that-be consider certain drinks to be snacks. This has several positive implications for me. First of all, as a fan and near-daily consumer of exotic sodas and energy drinks, there’s a whole category of reviewable snacks that will require no extra effort or purchase on my part. I’ll also have the opportunity to share products with the snacking public which I’ve been using for a while.

Third, this will aid my ability to eat more healthy. Recently, I stepped on the scale to find the number less than acceptable, and pledged to lessen my caloric intake. Most of my favorite (non-alcoholic) beverages are either calorie-free or close to it. Thus, I couldn’t resist the opportunity to share with this site’s readers a great soda which I’ve been drinking for some time now: Enviga Sparkling Green Tea.

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