Snack Review: Emerald Wasabi Peanuts

This week has brought me face-to-face with one snacking surprise after another. First, I ran across a complex, nuanced and tasty Mexican-style pastry in a gas station’s convenience store. Next, a bag of lemon cookies which practically screamed “Cheap ‘n’ Stale” turned out to be delicious and natural-tasting.

Today, I was introduced to a third snack which turned out to be quite different from what I’d expected. I’d like to say the surprise this time was as pleasant as my last two. Unfortunately, if I did I’d be lying. My experience with Emerald Wasabi Peanuts left a slightly bitter taste in my mouth which had nothing to do with the intended flavor.

Emerald, a subdivision of Diamond Foods, is probably my favorite nut brand, and Wasabi Peanuts are among my favorite snacks. Something about the wonderfully rich, toasted little nut encased in crisp Japanese mochi and coated with sinus-clearingly hot wasabi powder really hits the spot in my book. They’re not for everyone (least of all spice-o-phobes), but I’ve been known to happily munch ‘em by the handful.

So there you have it - Emerald. Wasabi Peanuts. This snack should have been beyond perfect. Yet, it was far from. What in the name of Scovillah, Spice Diety of the Seven Chiles, went wrong here?

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Snack Review: Mother’s Iced Lemonade Cookies

When I first encountered Mother’s Cookies on the shelves of a local 7-Eleven, I was skeptical to say the least. Several warning bells went off, all of which combined into a siren screaming “FAMILY DOLLAR REJECT!” Yes, these cookies gave every sign of being super-low quality and very, very… wrong.

First off, there’s the color scheme and package design. On a white background, pink and purple stripes are arranged in a pattern resembling a circus tent. One corner is occupied by a headshot of a plump redhead with an old-fashioned blouse-and-apron ensemble. Finally, there’s the brand name, “Mother’s.” My reflexive first thought was “what you sayin’ bout my mama?”

Was the company responsible for these cookies trying to say my mom was old-fashioned and dowdy? Were they saying my mom was a circus freak? Most of all, was this company trying to say that my mother - the woman who raised me - baked dollar-store caliber cookies? If they were, I’d have none of it. With a clear memory of my mom’s uber-yummy Rainbow Blondies, I set out to disprove the presumptuous brand’s claims… this time, it was personal.

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Snack Review: Buen Appetito Quesadilla Cheese Cake

Gas station pastries: we know ‘em, we love ‘em, and, although we know they’re not exactly good for us, when pressed for time, we often find ourselves indulging. Like cigarettes, these assorted danishes and cakes pack enough unpronounceable chemicals and preservatives to ensure us a place in the “Body Worlds” exhibit following our untimely deaths. Despite their insanely cheap prices, many of these delights manage to look beautiful. One ubiquitous brand even has a suitably upscale name to accompany its appearance: Bon Appetit.

Here in Southern California, a mere two hours from Mexico’s Baja peninsula, our convenience stores carry an ethnic variant: Buen Appetito. The pastries are FrankenFood versions of what you might expect to find at a Mexican panederia… there are conchas, tropical-fruit turnovers and corn muffins. The packages share the clear plastic and chic red-and-beige label of their French parent companies, but in place of the little parasol over “Bon Appetit,” a sultry Latina with come-hither eyes greets you from above the slightly-altered brand name. A subtle, yet clever marketing decision.

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Snack Review: Richin Prawn Crackers

As Americans, there are flavors we’ve always avoided in our snacks. Green vegetables and meat essences, for instance. Although the variety of flavors seen in our chips, crackers and the like is slowly expanding thanks to products like Snapea Crisps, there remain certain varieties of crisps and cookies not likely to pop up on the Safeway shelves anytime soon.

Seafood is one of those things most Americans aren’t keen on seeing in any form but in a sandwich or grilled or fried on a dinner plate. I mean, when was the last time you saw Perch Pretzels or Tuna Twists at the local gas-station convenience store? Never, right?

Asians have no such qualms with snacks featuring the bounty of the sea. In most East Asian supermarkets, not only is there a well-stocked seafood counter with all manner of fish, amphibians and reptiles; but there are whole other sections dedicated to sea creatures of the dried and salted variety, and still others devoted to sea-lightful crispy treats. For this reason, on my last excursion to Saigon Market, I made a point of bringing home at least one ocean-worthy treat.

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Snack Review: Mah Tong Huat Jolly Jolly Gel Snacks

Most of us have seen gel snacks. Usually in neons or bright pastels, bags of the miniature fruity cups line the snack aisles of Asian specialty stores everywhere. They tempt us with their cuteness and the promise of refreshing, unusual fruity flavors.

I’ve fallen victim to their superbly kawaii charms a few times in the past, mostly in my early teenage years - a halcyon era before I actually had to worry about the price of such indulgences. Though she might have given the price tags a questioning once-over, my mom never seemed to take too much issue with shelling out $2.99 a bag for snacks like these. After all, they were fruit-flavored, which automatically made them healthier than, say, giant cookies.

Although paying for my own groceries is a necessary evil of adulthood and all that jazz, I really miss being able to toss any snack I desired into the shopping cart with nary a care or concern. Now that I’m paying for my edible vices, I’ve become quite a cheapskate in some respects. Suddenly, I find myself having difficulty parting with three or more dollars for one snack, unless it’s an absolute favorite of mine. That means gel snacks, no matter how cutely packaged, are usually out of the question.

However, there’s always something new to discover in L.A.’s ethnic markets, and frequently those “somethings” I come across are cheap. On my most recent trip to the neighborhood Vietnamese emporium, one of my finds was a bag of Mah Tong Huat Jolly Jolly Snacks - a scarcely-believable steal, at 39 cents. Sure, the usual cutesy anime-style doodles were absent from the bag, replaced by too-realistic depictions of oranges and grapes oozing juice - but what do you expect for just under four cents a gel snack?

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